9 Professional Athletes that were also Accountants

 

9 Professional Athletes that were also Accountants
Who says accountants aren’t athletic? The 9 athletes on this list will prove them wrong! Before their athletic careers, each of these 9 famous athletes studied accounting and some even went on to work as accountants.

1. Craig Counsell, MLB Infielder
It’s hard to believe that 40 year old baseball player, Craig Counsell, was an accounting major at Notre Dame. In 2001 he was the NLCS MVP but prior to that he was an accounting major with a 3.0 GPA at Notre Dame.

Craig did admit that if he wasn’t playing baseball, he wouldn’t have been an accountant. He was quoted as saying “If I weren’t a professional athlete, I’d have gone to law school and become some kind of lawyer. I wouldn’t be an accountant, I know that.”

2. Ray Wersching, NFL Kicker
Ray Wersching, a graduate of University of California Berkeley, was signed to the San Diego Chargers before eventually joining the San Francisco 49ers for the duration of his career. When he retired, Wersching held 49ers records for points, field goals and extra points.  While playing football, he worked as a certified public accountant in the off-season.

3. D’Lo Brown, Professional Wrestler
D’Lo Brown, an ex-professional wrestler and current TNA Wrestling road agent, also happens to be a CPA. Interestingly, the WWF muscleman was working as an accountant before he began his career as Ace the Animal, during which he simultaneously held the European and Intercontinental Championship belts.

 4. Chuck Liddell, MMA/UFC FighterChuck Lidell studied to be an accountant
One of the most surprising athletes on this list is MMA/UFC fighter Chuck Liddell. Liddell is a former UFC Light-Heavyweight Champion with such impressive fighting skills that he’s credited with helping make MMA a mainstream sport.

Liddell graduated from California Polytechnic University with a BA in Business and Accounting in 1995. The former fighting champion certainly challenges any notion that accountants can’t be men (or women) of action.

 5. Edwin Flack, Olympic Runner, Australia
Edwin Flack accountantAnother olympic athlete, Edwin “Teddy” Flack, was trained as an accountant with the firm Price, Waterhouse & Co (now PricewaterhouseCoopers).

There he joined the London Athletic Club, eventually becoming Australia’s first Olympian, being its only representative in 1896, and the first Olympic champion in the 800 metres and the 1500 metres running events.

 6. Alexandre Bilodeau, Olympic Skier, Canada
Alex Bilodeau, the winner of a gold medal in the men’s moguls at the 2010 Winter Olympics, defended his gold in 2014, becoming the first Canadian male to do so.

Bilodeau is currently an accounting student at the John Molson School of Business at Concordia University. He has since retired from freestyle skiing professionally and plans to become an accountant once he’s done school.

 7. Juan Manuel Márquez, Boxer
Juan Manuel Dinamita Marquez study accounting
Juan Manuel Márquez currently holds the WBO light-welterweight champ and is the first Mexican-born boxer to become a world champion in four divisions. He also happens to have an accounting degree.

Unlike Craig Counsel, Márquez believes he would be an accountant if he wasn’t one of the greatest Mexican boxers of all time. When asked what he might have become if he wasn’t a fighter, he’s quoted as saying “I have an accounting degree, so I’d probably be an accountant!”

 8. Filipo Inzaghi, Italian Football Player
Filipo Inzaghi is one of the most prolific goalscorers of all time in European club competitions. Since retiring he is now the head coach for Milan, however before his football career took off, he got his accounting degree at the insistence of his parents.

9. Pádraig Harrington,  Irish Golfer
Pádraig Harrington accountant irish golferPádraig P. Harrington, an Irish professional golfer who plays on the European Tour and the PGA Tour, has won three major championships: The Open Championship in 2007 and 2008 and the PGA Championship, also in 2008. Before his success in the PGA, he passed his final accounting exams in 1994 and gained admittance into the ACCA.

 

77 Jokes for Accountants

77 Hilarious Jokes for Accountants
As summer winds down and everyone starts bracing themselves for another tax season, we’ve got a way to keep things fun in your firm… prepare yourself for the top 77 best accounting jokes.

Warning: this list contains 7 very NERDY jokes. Do not share this article with any non-accountants because they will roll their eyes and make fun of you…

We put together the slide show with the jokes, because it’s more fun to read them that way, but you can also check them out below.

  1. How does an accountant stay out of debt?
    He learns to act his wage.
  2. Did you hear about the blonde Management Accountant?
    She went to see her fitness trainer to talk about stretch targets.
  3. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.
  4. Why do economists exist? So accountants have someone to laugh at.
  5. There are just two rules for creating a successful accountancy business: 1. Don’t tell them everything you know. 2. [Redacted]
  6. What does an accountant say when you ask him the time? It’s 9.18 am and 12 seconds; no wait – 13 seconds, no wait – 14 seconds, no wait……
  7. Why was the accountant so excited that he completed a jigsaw puzzle in only 59 weeks? Because on the box it said 8-12 Years.
  8. What’s an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.
  9. What does an accountant say when boarding a train? ‘Mind the GAAP’.
  10. It’s 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
  11. What is the definition of “accountant”? Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
  12. How do you know when an accountant is on holiday? He doesn’t wear a tie and comes in after 8am!
  13. Why did God invent economists? So accountants could have someone to laugh at.
  14. What’s grey and not there? An accountant on vacation.
  15. Why do accountants make good lovers? They’re great with figures.
  16. Be audit you can be.
  17. What do actuaries do to liven up their office party? Invite an accountant.
  18. What is the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.
  19. A woman went to the doctor who told her she only had 6 months to live.
    “Oh my God!” said the woman. “What shall I do?”
    “Marry an accountant,” suggested the doctor.
    “Why?” asked the woman. “Will that make me live longer?”
    “No,” replied the doctor. “But it will SEEM longer.”
  20. Why did the cannibal accountant get disciplined? For buttering up her clients.
  21. Why don’t accountants read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
  22. It’s accrual world.
  23. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he’s boring.
  24. Did you hear about the fraudulent Irish Finance Director? He burned his office down trying to cook the books.
  25. What’s an accountant’s favourite book? 50 Shades of Grey.
  26. What music is played at a financial accountant’s funeral? The Last Post.
  27. What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? Lazy.
  28. Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? They find bookkeeping too exciting.
  29. Did you hear about the cannibal CPA? She charges an arm and a leg.
  30. Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant? No. Me neither.
  31. What do you call an accountant who says he’s posted a one-sided journal? A liar!! Under Sarbox rules it just can’t happen! Can it??!!
  32. Did you hear about the constipated CFO? He couldn’t budget with his calculator so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.
  33. What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.
  34. How do you drive an accountant completely insane? Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold a road map the wrong way.
  35. Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter.
  36. Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
  37. Why do accountants get excited at the weekends? Because they can wear casual clothes to work.
  38. Why don’t old accountants die? They just lose their balance!
  39. Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours? Because on the box it said Concentrate.
  40. What’s an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.
  41. Did you hear about the deviant Forensic Accountant? He got his client’s charges reduced from gross indecency to net indecency.
  42. What do accountants do for fun? Add the telephone book!
  43. If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep, what does she say? “Darling, could you tell me about your work.”
  44. Why was the accountant in rehab? Solvency abuse.
  45. What’s grey on the inside and red on the outside? An accountant turned inside out.
  46. How do accountants make a bold fashion statement? Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
  47. How does an accountant trash their hotel room? By refusing to fill in the Guest Comment Card.
  48. What is the definition of an insolvency practitioner? Someone who arrives after the battle, bayonets all the wounded, pawns their possessions and charges their time to the relatives.
  49. There are 3 types of accountants. Those who can count and those who can’t.
  50. What’s grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall? An accountant riding an elephant.
  51. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  52. What do you call an accountant without a calculator? Lonely.
  53. How was copper wire invented? 2 accountants were arguing over a penny.
  54. An accountancy student asks a partner to explain ethics in accountancy. The partner thinks for a moment and relates the following.
    ‘Mr Jones, one of our clients, came to see me last week and paid me his bill of £1,000 in cash. As he left I counted the notes and they came to £1,100.
    The student said. ‘ I see. The ethics question is do I tell the client?’
    ‘Wrong answer!’
    The question is do I tell my partner’
  55. Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
  56. What do you call an accountant who is seen talking to someone? Popular
  57. How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
  58. What’s the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
  59. What do you call a group financial controller who’s lost his job? Bob.
  60. An economist is someone who didn’t have enough personality to become an accountant.
  61. Why did the auditor get run over crossing the road? Auditors never actually do the risk assessment well until after the accident happens.
  62. Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?” to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”
  63. How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? How much money do you have?
  64. What does CPA stand for? Can’t Pass Again.
  65. How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
  66. What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance? A late night.
  67. What did the accountant say when he looked at the tax form? The man who set the standard deduction must have been a bachelor. I am lying when I am listing myself as a head of household.
  68. An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?” “That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”
  69. A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Want to hear an accountant joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know that I’m 6 feet tall, 200 pounds, and I’m an accountant. And the guy sitting next to me is 6’2″ tall, 225 pounds, and he’s an accountant. Now, do you still want to tell that joke?” The first guy says, “No, I don’t want to have to explain it two times.”
  70. Budget: An orderly system for living beyond your means.
  71. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t? Depreciation.
  72. What did the accountant say when he got a blank check? My deductions have at last caught up with the salary.
  73. Did you hear about the shy and retiring accountant? The accountant is $1 million shy and hence is retiring.
  74. A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant. Her friend asks, “Didn’t your company hire an accountant a short while ago?” The business owner replies, “That’s the accountant I’ve been searching for.”
  75. Accounting for Dummies. What’s the big deal? Cr. Cash Dr. Dummies. Simple.
  76. Accountants don’t die, they get derecognized
  77. Four Laws of Accounting:
    1. Trial balances don’t.
    2. Bank reconciliations never do.
    3. Working capital does not.
    4. Return on investments never will.